Sometimes things happen and you just can’t manage to wrap your head around them.  Okay well sometimes things happen to me and I can’t manage to wrap my head around them, but I’m guessing that everyone has moments like that. I however tend to over analyze  pretty much everything, it’s a horrible design flaw if you ask me. My newest ohmygodIcan’tgetthisoffmymind moment happened this week when I was told that one of my “Mom Friends” who is 22 weeks pregnant found out that her baby has a good chance of being born with Down’s Syndrome. I’m sure that is a hard pill to swallow for anyone, but it’s what I heard next that devastated me. This friend of mine has decided at 22 weeks to abort the pregnancy. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all prochoice.  I believe that a woman has the right to control her body.  Here’s the thing though. Through this whole thing of “Dodging A Bullet” as she so delicately put it I have realized that I am prochoice sort of. I’m prochoice if I believe the reason to not chose life is acceptable to me. I’M SUCH A JACKASS! It’s not my place, it’s none of my business but looking at you Danger, I just can’t imagine loving you any less, or choosing not to have you at all. I definitely can’t imagine carrying a baby to 22 weeks and then thinking that just because it has a disability that it’s okay to throw that baby away. I’m having a hard time trying to understand, I’m not sure that I ever will. It’s not like she is a single mom, or has no support system or doesn’t have the means to support a child with a disability.  She is a well kept stay at home mom, with a work from home husband who is a great and helpful father to one child, who lives in Canada where the government funds workers to help with disabled children, and covers all of the medical expenses.  She has both her parents and her husbands parents near by to help with anything they might need.  She is able bodied and in good health and yet she somehow feels that a disabled child, or more accurately a “POSSIBLY” disabled child is not worthy of life.  

No I don’t get it.  Yes, I am avoiding her because I don’t know how to keep my thoughts to myself.  I don’t know how to look at her and not feel sad.  It’s not my place, it’s not right but it’s how I feel. Hopefully putting these feelings into words will help me move on, help me to stop analyzing.